The Horse Girl in the autumn.

It is raining cats and dogs...
It is raining cats and dogs…

What has Mimi Time been up to, since last time? Well, first of all my internet in the countryside wasn’t working so well and then I have been working two jobs: being a stable girl in the morning until noon and then being a cleaning girl for the summer houses during the afternoon. Busy bee. So busy, that I have been going to bed really early, as the horses wait for their room (box) service in the morning very early.

You know, what I learned during the last month?

It did come as a little surprise to me, but sometimes horses are not the brightest cookies in the jar. They can be a little stupid at times and I do mean that in the nicest possible way. But here some little examples : throwing over a freshly filled, huge bucket of water and draining it into the field, going to the toilet into their food crib, breaking the fence (a few times), biting the fence poles and breaking it, stepping on my foot, biting each other until it bleeds, being afraid of an apple tree (REALLY???) and many more…

Maybe we actually make them just intelligent in our minds and they not so smart in reality? Hmm.

Being a horse girl in the autumn is really not as fun as being a horse girl in the summer. Being outside she it is windy, wet and cold is not so much fun. Today it started raining and it is still raining like cats and dogs.

A very wet horse…

This afternoon the horses were so wet, that they looked really miserable outside and so I put on my super-rain coat and rescued the horses from the evil rain (are they not suppose to be used to harsh weather conditions? What did they actually do in the old times when there were no boxes or warming lamps for horses???)

But riding a wet horse is actually as much fun as taking a cold shower (which I had to do when the water heater was not working- not nice…next time I just smell..) and so I just have a horse, I don’t ride him much, which he enjoys immensely.

But hey, do you know what the absolute best thing about being a horse girl is? You can eat as much as you want and you still loose weight. Basically you can stuff yourself with everything  in sight and not gain weight. And eating is what I do when I don’t muck out, feed the horses or clean summer houses. I eat bread, pasta, cookies, chips, cheese and chocolate and still loose weight. Ideal isn’t it? I think I am going to sell a week working on the horse farm to people that want to loose some weight. A friend of mine from Germany has actually already booked the week after christmas to come and work on the horse farm again. I think I should make a business out of that.

Loose weight while enjoying the fresh country air”

Thinking of food… I think I have to eat again…

My cat has been enjoying the country side very much too, the (dead) mouse count has gone up to at least 4. (good, so the mice don’t come into the apartment)

Cat is going to eat that mouse.
Cat is going to eat that mouse.

AND NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY-YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL even in an oversized rain coat and wellington boots!

Mimi Time and the beginning of being a HG (horse girl)

"I want this one!!!"
“I want this one!!!”

So how did I become a horse girl you might wonder after my last post. Maybe Mimi came from a rich family and she got her first pony when she was only three years old and her first arab stallion when she was ten. She had all the little riding trousers and boots and always had new saddles and bridles for her horses….

But unfortunately it wasn’t like that at all.

Yes, I got my first horse-back riding lessons when I was nine. It was horrible. It was at the elite riding school in my home town and I was riding on Hannoveraner horses (they are like Danish warm blood and HUGE) and because my lesson was always on a Monday and the huge grumpy horses had been standing in the stable for two days (in those days you just left the horses inside) they were definitely full of unused energy on Mondays. In one lesson I fell of one of these giants seven times. After falling off those horses one too many times I changed to a pony stable outside the city and I really loved it there. I rode on ponies without a saddle and we rode in the forest for hours. It was really nice and when you fell off, you didn’t fall so far. I really wanted to have my own pony like some other girls at the stable, but my mother didn’t think that was such a good idea. Even though I tried to convince her, she stood her ground. After having cats, a dog, rabbits and hamsters she was adamant not to let a pony sneak in as well. This was my first lesson in life: LIFE IS NOT FAIR…

I thought life could go on like that forever, but life rarely stays the same and so things changed. My mother didn’t want to drive all the way to the pony stable every weekend anymore, I got older, there were parties at the weekends and boys over sudden became quite interesting. 

So life passed and I only rode during holidays…

…until I came to Denmark.

I moved to Denmark to teach at an international school and found myself in a tiny village in the middle of nowhere with no friends and surrounded by darkness and a raging Scandinavian winter. One evening I sat in my oversized apartment and felt like I had three options in my empty life: become an alcoholic, get a huge depression or do something about it. I wanted to do something- but what? Somebody told me, that Danes make friend by joining a club. So, find a club then…

I was having the option between a kayak club and the riding club to join and as it was winter and there was no kayaking, I chose the riding club. I signed up for lessons and I rode in a lesson with girls between nine and twelve. The beginning was not so funny. I got the horse, that nobody else wanted to ride (there is always a reason for that…). But even though the hour with the grumpy horse was me having a bit of time-out from the stress at the school and once the grumpy horse went bak to his owner and I could ride other not so grumpy horses. After about three months the other people and girls at the stable started to talk to me and I started to make friends (so the person was right, this is how Danes meet people). In the spring a lovely, slightly fat horse came to the club and I knew straight away I wanted to have her as my weekend horse. I rode her every weekend and took lot’s of lessons.

And again I thought this could go on for ever…

But I met this girl, who said

“I want you to have my horse” and she gave me her horse, as she didn’t have the time to keep him any more. 

And so my journey started. 

Since getting my horse my life has changed completely- different job, different place to live and different things in my life. He is my magic horse and he is not too huge. When things get a bit iffy while riding, I can still jump off without falling too far…

"Finally my childhood dream came true"
“Finally my childhood dream came true”

and so remember sometimes wishes may take a bit longer, but they do come true, so be careful what you wish for…

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY with or without horse.

Mimi Time: Call me Horse Girl

"Noooo those were the flowers for my sister's birthday-photo-greetings..."
“Noooo those were the flowers for my sister’s birthday-photo-greetings…”

Now I have been living at the horse farm for a few weeks and I can tell things are changing in my life a lot:

I am becoming a Horse Girl.

You might ask yourself, what exactly is a horse girl, so let me give you some points:

1. Horse Girls have a horse or talk about horses all the time.

– I think I do that as I am soooo excited, that my amazing horse has decided to let me ride him. Honestly that is a miracle. One day he was like, it’s ok for you to ride me. Don’t do it more than 30 min as I get tired, but those 30 mins are yours. He really tries to do what I would like him to do, even though he still doesn’t have a lot of muscles, but with our 30mins every day routine that might change. So point 1: Check.

2. Horse Girls are most comfortable in horse clothes.

-Yes. I love to wear my comfy riding clothes. I actually get a bit uncomfortable when going to see my friends and I need to put on “normal clothes”. After my Reiki course I invested in white clothes due to letting my aura shine, but have subsequently put those aura-shine-white-t-shirts in the back of my wardrobe. White t-shirts are not compatible with horses. Horses are always dirty and dusty. Always. So point 2: Check.

3. Horse Girls smell.

-Yes. When bringing out hay (these horses eat a LOT of hay…) pulling water hoses to refill their buckets of water (which they absolutely LOVE to empty out by turning over the bucket) and riding them you get so sweaty. Why I am not sure, but you do get sweaty a lot, so you smell. So point 3: Check.

4. Horse Girls love horses more than people.

– Well. Horses don’t answer you back, they really love you when you come to the field (if you have a treat in your pocket, mind you), they love you when you bring them hay, they love you when you feed them and they love you when you give them carrots. Sounds reasonable- doesn’t it? People can be nice too, but sometimes they don’t love you like a horse when you give them food in a bucket. But I do like people too, so I think I have to only half check this point. 

5.Horse Girls are tough as old boots.

– Real horse girls are scary. Honestly. They are butch, tough and treat their horses and friends the same way, in a tough love kind of way (their excuse:they are asking for it and need a bit of discipline…) They don’t mind pain and think if they can move a 500 kg animal, they can definitely move a 80 kg person. So watch out for the real horse girls. I am not there yet. Will somebody tell me if I get scary? Probably not as then I am too scary… Hmmm.

6. Horse Girls spend all their money on their horse.

-Yes. Having a look  around stables it is absolutely amazing how many little powders, supplements, different foods and sprays a horse needs. Each horse gets their individual food made up from various different ingredients (and I have to learn all of them for when I start feeding the horses when they come back from the field). The area where the food stands looks like a horse-food-supermarket. But besides the food, vitamins and supplements they also need a little garlic infused anti-fly-sprays (this confuses me as the barn over sudden smells like an Italian restaurant), oil for their food and other oil for their hooves. I have to say my horse also gets 3 different ingredients for his dinner. He also gets apples, carrots and licorice treats. I also like the mint treats, they give him a nice fresh breath. Then he has a hoof oil and an organic anti-fly-spray which is also ok for using on humans, even though I always forget to put it on me and end up with all the insect bites. But at least my horse is not bitten. So yes, having a horse is expensive and they always need things, such as the cute bridle, a new brush or about five thousand kg of treats. Point 6: definitely check.

7. Horse girls only want to be with their horses.

-Check. Having a job outside the barn is valuable time away from your horse and that needs to be minimized. Point 7: Check.

8. Horse girls prefer horses to boy-friends.

-Well, have you seen those boy-friends of horse girls? They quietly help bringing hay to the horse or taking the shit out of the box, but whatever they do it is under the close supervision of the horse girl. I think in a way the boys come second to the horses, as the horse needs to be taken care of and the boy-friend usually can fend for himself. Not sure on this one.

9. Horse girls have their own language.

-Yes. You need to know all the best stallions in your country if you want to be a real horse girl, then there are dressage move to know, different bridles etc. So start revising. Best if you also know about all the terrible things a horse can get in terms of diseases (then you can scare the others when you have the next stable meeting) I am still learning those…

10. Horse girls are happier.

-YES AND MY HORSE IS AMAZING…

and remember out there: YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY-or if you are a real horse girl or not.

Mimi Time is feeling snug.

"Now we have arrived in the country side"
“Now we have arrived in the country side”

I am feeling snug as a bug in a rug.

It is raining cats and dogs outside and I am sitting in my bedroom and feeling so cosy. I love rainy Sundays. Nothing to do apart from maybe a little nap later…

So. The move to the country side has taken place and it wasn’t as bad as I feared. I had help from very nice friends and all my stuff was in the cars within an hour and when we got to the stable it took us less than an hour to bring everything up, clean the fridge and take my bed apart and put it back together. In my mind moving always looks so much worse and I worry for weeks about it, but when it arrives it is not as painful as expected. By now I have unpacked most of my boxes, apart from the once that have the B-stuff in it. The stuff that you don’t really need but couldn’t throw away. That kind of stuff. Although I have to say, not having a TV anymore it is kind of nice to have old stuff around, as I can sit on my sofa and read books or go through old note books. I finally have time to read my father’s notes on his life (he wrote a little book about his life and gave it to me about 2 years ago…)

What is my life like, now that I live on a horse farm?

I wake up  to the sound of the horses’s hooves and their calling to each other. Then I get up and go and feed my horse and his biting new friend. A nice companion, but quite jealous. Every time I bring hay or other snacks, he bites my horse in fear he might not get enough (I know this feeling from somewhere, although I rarely bite other people…) Then I ride or do a little work (the horses are on the field and don’t need so much attention at the moment) or just hang out and in the evening I sit on my sofa and read books or look at general B-stuff.- Sounds idyllic? It actually is. I feel really calm, apart from when my internet is disappearing or my phone does weird things (help is so much further away now)…

Also my cat has gotten used to the new apartment now and really likes to go up and down the stairs, hunt flies all night and suspect mice behind the walls. I told her she will be able to go outside, after the initial 2 weeks, so that she’ll find her way back-

"I am not staying inside my friend..."
“I am not staying inside my friend…”

-but my cat does not believe in patience (like me?) Last night I woke up as there was no sound of fly chasing to be heard and no cat steps on the stairs, so I got up and went looking for Dotty. No Dotty down stairs, no Dotty on the sofa, in the kitchen, the bathroom or under the sofa. No cat at all…

I put some shoes on and went downstairs into the stable, maybe the cat had climbed out of the window? No cat there either. I called her. Nothing. So I went back upstairs and then over sudden a black cat jumped through the open window back into the bathroom. Good that I am not that easily spooked. The cat had been up on the roof for a little night tour. So, now that window has to stay closed.

Today the cat then tried to get out of a half opened window and got stuck in it, so I had to rescue her. So, now window number two has to be closed too…I guess the cat will be very happy when she can finally eat mice for dinner and I will be happy to be able to open ALL my windows again…

and lovelies do remember:

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY- even when you are in your stinky stable clothes…

 

Mimi Time is feeling Reikied

"Just a little white t-shirt"
“Just a little white t-shirt”

I have passed my first level Reiki course for humans and for horses- in case anybody wondered.  I even got a beautiful certificate, which I can frame and put up on my wall- conversations at dinner parties will probably never run dry ever again…

Reiki is actually really wonderful and also a little weird. During my course we meditated, my Reiki channel was cleansed (I had my eyes closed while it was happening- so no idea how this was done), I learned about chakras and the history of Reiki -it was only really developed in the 20ies by a a japanese guy in Kyoto and only came to Germany in the 80ies. And now every good esoteric person does it. I guess there has been a bit of a Reiki-revolution…

I had booked the course without ever having had a Reiki treatment myself, maybe I should have known what I was signing up for, but I was so sure, that it was what I wanted to do. But luckily my lovely Reiki teacher gave me a Reiki treatment on the second day so that I know what it feels like, before treating clients and I was so relaxed, that I thought I would never be able to get up again. But fortunately there is also something you can do to wake clients up again (apart from a bucket of cold water..) Mental note: you don’t want the clients snoring away on your massage table in your living room after the treatment…

But it is really amazing, that placing your hands on certain areas on the body makes the recipient so relaxed and calm, I am still kind of overwhelmed by this.

Since coming home, I have been doing some animal testing of Reiki on my cat and she really likes it.  I am actually a bit worried, she is  going to be a Reiki junkie -when she sees me, she throws herself on the floor and waits to be Reikied…I guess I just have to keep delivering before the Reiki withdrawal starts.

Also the horse we practiced on was happy to get some Reiki energy. He looked like he was going to fall asleep and chewed happily away (a sign of relaxation) after he passed wind (farted) which is also a sign that the Reiki energy was relaxing him. Just a little reminder: if you come for a Reiki treatment to me, try NOT to pass wind, while I am giving you Reiki. (I am not that spiritual yet)

My teacher told me, that with the first grade in Reiki, things can change in your life, and guess what? The very next morning my life changed already. I didn’t want to drink coffee anymore. Ginger tea. With real ginger, of course. And then another thing happened, I felt like I didn’t want to wear black anymore…WHAT??? After 10 years of only wearing black, I wanted some white in my life. I had this lovely image in my head:

Just a little white t-shirt with a jeans and a fresh complexion, no make-up, but flowers in my long hair, laughing, running across a summer field in slow motion…

So what was missing was the little white t-shirt to start the new summer look. Of course H&M is always good for a little t-shirt and I bought a couple, as white is good for the aura. It reflects it (that’s apparently why the yogis like to wear white so much). And I really wanted to show off my newly cleansed aura in a little white shirt. But when I got home and put on my new white t-shirt I remembered, why I stopped wearing white t-shirts:

THEY ARE ALWAYS SEE-THROUGH.

So, in order to let my aura shine, I now need to wear a little white shirt under the little white shirt, so that I can go outside…

Lovelies, I am sending you all some lovely Reiki energy and remember:

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY-even if you wear a see-through little white t-shirt.

 

Mimi Time is feeling German again.

"Call me Weltmeister-Dog!"
“Call me Weltmeister-Dog!”

I am feeling German again. Mimi Time is feeling German again. I am Mim i Time.

So. I am in Germany. One day after the legendary football match against Argentina I drove home and the whole country was in a sort of hang-over state. It was quiet and people were tired. Happy but completely exhausted.

"One last flag hanging in there..."
“One last flag hanging in there…”

Maybe this football victory will make Germans feel more happy about being Germans again? In general we are a nation of not so happy German people and we have not been able to feel so proud of ourselves in the past. (Do I need to explain? Just a hint: people in khaki uniforms, Hitler greeting…)

But now that we are Weltmeister it is all going to change. We will hang German flags on our houses and cars, wear German football jerseys and we are going to be nice people, not hung up about the past, open and friendly to all, generous and funny. WE ARE GOING TO BE FUNNY…(just imagine this with a German accent)

But being in Germany again is nice, I can speak the language, which really helps with every day things and not ever day things too. I can even make a joke in my own language. I can call people and understand them. The foreign guy at the Thai- Take -Away did not understand me so well and I had to spell everything about 10 times, in order to receive the wanted Asian food. (but being a foreigner in a foreign land myself, I do understand how he must feel and I spelled the address and name patiently again and again and again- he might have had a hang-over too- by the way Germany WON!!!)

So we ordered Thai food and it was really good- where I live there is only a pizza take away, that’s it. We sat in the garden the dog farted a little bit and later the dog snored like a real Weltmeister through the whole apartment. I felt like being in an episode of the Walton’s:

“Good night John-Boy, Good night Dicky, Good night Mimi…”

Today I am going to learn Reiki and because of that I have been eating vegan food in preparation- the interesting bit was how much this made people either cheer me on or yell at me… The BBQ bean burger were nice but my stomach is still rumbling from all the vegetables and beans over the last week. I also have to admit there might have been the occasionally butter incident. I can’t say I am feeling so different though having been a vegan for a week. I am feeling good, but I think that is in general anyway.

But now my aunt asked me to go for a brisk walk through the park with the Weltmeister snoring and farting dog Dicky. So will go to the park and explore feeling German again.

And remember:

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY- even if you are an exhausted German with rings under your eyes after a long World Cup…

 

Mimi Time is feeling spiritual

"Reiki anyone?"
“Reiki anyone?”

Mimi Time is feeling spiritual. I am feeling spiritual. I am Mimi Time.

Do I have to mention the football game from last night? Ok it was amazing. I actually didn’t see it. Here in Denmark it was all quiet and calm and I felt a bit tired after trying to ride my horse, who believes not being ridden and room service are his personal rights in life. As there is not so much grass on the pasture and I started taking hay out to the horses and when they see me coming pushing the big heavy cart, they seem to laugh at me, before they attack the cart and the hay. So much for eating manners…

As my life is changing from day to day, I decided to do something that I have wanted to do for a while: I am becoming a Reiki practitioner for humans and horses. Next week I will do the course while on holiday in Hamburg. Great workshop- AND HOLIDAYS IN HAMBURG!!!!!

But before the course I have to prepare myself for the Reiki attunement- it seems to be serious stuff. Vegan food a week before, no cigarettes and only pure thoughts ( I am guessing this…)  The vegan food is fine but the problem is I get hungry quite quickly again. So I am eating masses of rice, vegetable and more salad. But then as a result of all the veggies, I am feeling quite spiritual. Soon I will only be wearing white clothes, eat only vegan, knit my own scratchy jumpers and see everything as a sign from the universe. Maybe I can let the universe know, what I really would like? Mental not: Must write a letter to the universe:

Happy love, happy money, happiness, happy work, happy horse (just need to keep delivering room service) so Happy, Happy, Happy.

Maybe I should meditate a little (can you see how spiritual I am now???), just so that I am spiritual charged when receiving the attunement. Little secret here: while meditating I nearly always fall asleep and when I say I am going to meditate I could also just say I am off for a cat-nap.

When I told people about my Reiki course people offered themselves as test subjects for me to practice Reiki on. I think that is so nice of them- they even offered their horses for practicing.

But I think I really need to meditate on what I will eat, buy and do in Hamburg: Here a short list: Asian food, Sushi, Shopping, Friends, Tante Ju, New Riding Trousers withe real leather (sorry PETA), glam food, Dino, Shopping, Food, Shopping, Drink, Speak German, Food, Shopping… – Ah I can’t wait.

And because I am so spiritually charged I don’t mind, that I can’t keep my phone number. Ok, so I lost my job, my apartment and my phone number. I took a work phone and transferred the number to the company. And now I can’t get it back. I am not bitter about that.Oh no. I am not bitter about having new business cards with the old number, which I can’t use now- no I am very calm about it, because I got this lovely new number which is a lot more spiritually charged (I decided that) with many sevens. So all happy and good.

…and Lovelies remember:

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY- even more if you get some free Reiki by Mimi Time wether you are a horse or a human.

 

Mimi Time is confused- about being German.

IMG_0948
“I would rather go to the beach now…”

I am confused. Mimi Time is confused. I am Mimi Time.

On Saturday I was teaming up with my colleague again and we had 11 summerhouses to check and to disinfect the spas. We were both looking forward to finishing early, as the day started nice and easy. All the houses seems to be in order and we were thinking what to do with the rest of the lovely day. Oh well, when you think like that, something usually happens. We had to do one quick disinfection of a spa and we were driving around, then the GPS said, the house is on the left side and we looked to the left side saw the summerhouse sticker on the letter box and there were people unloading their car. We thought that as a little early, as it was before 4 o’clock. We went inside and explained we had to check the spa. It was a huge spa and pool area and we disinfected the whirlpool. It took a while to fill and clean the tub. Then we couldn’t find the baby chair and bed we should bring back from the house, while the whole family was moving in. It was a bit awkward doing the cleaning while the family was moving in and when we finally sat in the car again, my colleague looked at me and just said:

“That was the wrong house…”

Although the whirlpool we wrongly disinfected didn’t have the sticker that says it that it had been disinfected, so I guess we did a good thing. But we drove quickly to the right house and had to disinfect that spa too. We both didn’t quite know, wether to laugh or cry.

After that things got worse.

We were disinfecting a spa and checking the cleaning, when a German family arrived. We finished quickly and when we were driving away one of the guys came running after us.

“There is an ant’s nest in the pool room!”

We went back inside and the whole family (7 people) were standing around us looking at the ants. Yes, there was an ant’s nest- even though it was a small one. When we wanted to vacuum them away, one of the girls became hysterical and said, then they would be in the whole house. We asked them to get in contact with the office to ask for somebody professional to kill the ants. To be quite honest, I don’t know what to do with ants in the pool house. In my previous jobs, I didn’t have to kill ants.

The office then called us back and asked us to go back and vacuum the ants away.

So we went back and now the girl thought she had found other things she was not happy with. I couldn’t really see the faults, but  then I might need glasses too… When we told her we would now vacuum the ants away, it nearly became an affair of the State. She nearly had a break down and was yelling at us and asked me, if I wanted to have a holiday like that? I was thinking:

“I would rather go to the beach now…”

It was very important to make sure we were wrong and she was right. In my eyes she was just picky and was afraid of ants. In the end I killed the offending ants with my bare hands and kitchen roll (got bitten by a few too…) and cleaned the floor with detergent, before a man with ant-poison would come later. So, ants dead, hysterical lady more or less calmed down and we on our way back to the office.

In the car my colleague just muttered:

“I hate Germans…”

Well yes,  I can see why the Danes don’t like the Germans. Being yelled at is not so nice. They like them staying at a house, because it will be clean afterwards, but when they are moving in, they are sometimes not so friendly. I don’t actually understand why the Germans really like reprimanding people so much. It seems like a sport to them to get really personal in their yelling. And the other person is not allowed to answer back as they are in a inferior position (I think I have seen that scene in German movies before…)

Maybe I should become Danish now?

But lovelies remember:

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY- even if you are an ant-fearing-hysterical-cleanliness Freak-German…

 

Mimi Time has the F.B. (Facebook Blues)

"Is it an U.F.O. trying to land next to the horses?"
“Is it an U.F.O. trying to land next to the horses?”

I am having the Facebook Blues. Mimi Time has the Facebook Blues. I am Mimi Time.

Update: Cat better. Horse maybe better. Rode the maybe better horse (didn’t fall off…) Sun shining. Invited to dinner at a friend’s house this evening. In a good mood.

So, the day was more than ok. The riding of the stubborn horse went well. He didn’t throw me off, maybe he was still weak from the kick to his eye, but whatever the reason was, we had a bit of fun until he turned into a donkey, stood like a statue and didn’t move until I jumped off-then he ran back to the gate. Hmm.

Me being the good horse-mommy brought camomile tea and washed his eye with camomile (finally I can use the nasty camomile tea from the last century- who can drink that anyway) and it looks a bit better now. The sun was shining, I saw a near-U.F.O. landing next to the horse field (see photo for proof) and life was just really sweet…

…but you know what happens when you consume too much sweets? Right you get nauseous. And did I feel nauseous when I checked my Facebook. Right the first photo was a photo I didn’t want to see or shouldn’t have seen. Smiling and happy ex-friend and still Facebook-friend jumped right in my face. A whole picture perfect photo shooting. The happiness from all different sides. And you know what? I should have been in that picture.

ME.ME.ME.

NOT HER. DEFINETLY NOT HER.

I should have made my Facebook friends nauseous and envious by being in that vomit inducing happy-go-lucky-photo. Sometimes a photo can say more than 1000 words. It can say:

“I am so happy and you are not.”

Then seeing the photo of my successor on Facebook didn’t help either. Well, good luck to him and I am going to have a wonderful life.

YES I WILL.

The husband of my evil ex-boss thought I am going to have wonderful time at my new place. When he said that I was really surprised. There was no connection to anything we had talked about. Did he maybe feel envious and maybe wanted to move to the country side too, with animals, freshly baked bred and happy photos? Who knows. Must check his Facebook profile…

I am feeling that the times without Facebook and internet weren’t so bad. If you were depressed, it was because your life was shit. Today you get depressed because other people’s life look so much more wonderful than yours. Everybody is so beautiful, happy, rich, spiritual and incredible funny. And then you look at yourself and think:

“Wow, my life is neither that happy, funny or full of that many handsome men, cute girls, parties and friends…”

My life isn’t actually that bad, but in comparison with all the mega-lifes out there, my life really looks not that mega. If anybody thinks my life looks just a little bit jealousy-inducing, please let me know and in an instant I will send you an e-mail with all those not so wonderful things in my life-or you could just keep coming back to my blog… If you do you want some little shitty life details just in case you get the Facebook Blues, just send me an e-mail.

I like telling you lovelies how unpleasant  parts of my life are, so you don’t have to feel bad about your own life (mega karma points floating my way…). But then you are probably all insanely happy all the time and that is why you are reading my bitchy blog, as you actually don’t have any reason to bitch. Hmmm. Mental note: must check all your Facebook profiles…

Maybe I should just get photoshop and stop bitching, then I can make my life look as beautiful as I want. Could I maybe get rid of 10 kg in that picture…???

So now I am going to my friend’s house to look over the sea, feel how wonderful my life is and I won’t check Facebook for at least a few hours…honest.

And remember: If it looks like shit, if it smells like shit and if it feels like shit- it probably is shit, even though you photoshopped it pink.

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY- and you don’t need photoshop to shine!!!

P.S. Feel better. Day is insanely happy now….So happy…Dancing and singing by myself…

 

Mimi Time feels passive aggressive.

"I am a cat I should NOT be wearing a rain coat- TAKE IT AWAY!!!"
“I am a cat I should NOT be wearing a rain coat- TAKE IT OFF!!!”

I am feeling passive aggressive. Mimi Time is feeling passive aggressive. I am Mimi Time.

The delegation of ex-colleagues from my ex-work was coming round today to check my ex-apartment. Me being a good girl wanted to clean a bit before, so that they couldn’t bitch about me never cleaning. Actually my history of flat cleaning is always kept to a minimum. Anyway to impress the ex-colleagues of my Hausfrau talents I cleaned yesterday- which I shouldn’t have. I left the vacuum cleaner in the hallway and guess what? I walked into it and injured my little toe. Has anybody done that? It hurt like hell and became swollen and blue.

FUCK!!!

Because of that gory accident I had to cancel my plans to feed my horse (sorry Goldpfeil) due to my incapability to wear shoes due to a nearly broken toe.

SHIT.

Anyway the accident happened after I cleaned a bit and so I didn’t have to be ashamed this morning. There were four slightly awkward people parading through my apartment and trying to get me to move out before the end of the month as my successor is moving to Denmark. I offered them a deal, that a professional moving firm could persuade me to move out earlier, which they didn’t want to consider. Well, then I stay until the end of the month. No problem.

Seeing my ex-colleagues reminded that non of my Danish colleagues explained the unemployment system here. In Germany you are entitled to unemployment money once you have worked for one year. But not in the liberal and oh so social Denmark. Here you have to pay into a private unemployment fund in order to get something when you loose your job. But any good Dane will know that of course and they will not confuse A-Kassa (the unemployment insurance) with something that is where you pay in a supermarket.

I really don’t get, that an international workplace can be so shy about giving out information on how to live in Denmark. (Can you now feel my passive aggressiveness??? I told you so…) When I started working here I wasn’t being paid for 3 months, as opening a bank account here is not for dummies and again my workplace thought that this was a good learning opportunity for me, without telling me, how it is done. I found out, that I need a CPR number in this country in order to do anything. So, for that you have to go and register and ask nicely for permission to stay in this open and liberal country (sorry it is sneaking in again…) All in all the registration process took 3 months and when I finally got my money from 3 months work, I was laughing all the way to the bank.

When I got a really bad tooth ache, I realized I should have registered with a private insurance, which covers a bit of the outrages dental bills. But then I should have registered BEFORE the tooth started hurting. Once the tooth stopped hurting due to a root canal, my empty purse was hurting so much, it was crying every night. Poor, poor purse.

So my ex-colleagues were walking through my nearly ex flat and pointing to random second hand furniture and asked, if that was mine or the company’s. I felt  a slight worry from them that I might take off with a few little nice pieces of furniture donated either by predecessors or a second hand store. Maybe I should run away with the flowery couch or maybe the Ikea table for 200 kr? Well, it actually would look lovely in my new flat…

After the invasion of the establishment I though going to the horse and enjoying my riding lesson would  be nice. But when I saw my horse, my mood plummeted:

My horse had a severely swollen eye and looked like he’d been in a fight. He didn’t want to tell me, who had kicked him, even though I asked him nicely. I don’t know why both my animals think at the moment that the vet is so nice that she needs to be visited often…

My trainer rode the horse today and even with her he really wanted to get rid of her -he doesn’t believe he should be ridden- he is a horse of leisure and if he could he would be saying:

“Talk to the hand, BITCH, the ears ain’t listening…!”

…and he was about to rear, but my trainer was quicker and he couldn’t jump up. I guess he feels passive aggressive too. You know horses are the mirror of us and as I was in a passive aggressive mood, he was too.

My cat still has to wear the blue plastic rain-cape, as I am not paying the vet for another set of stitches. She is slightly passive aggressive too and still keeps trying to get rid of the safety cape- ALL NIGHT LONG!!!!

But you know what? Tomorrow is another day and life will be lovely and full of roses again… really.

And remember:

YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL NO MATTER WHAT THEY SAY- especially ex-colleagues, ex-friends, ex-men and other exes…and LAUGH…

"Lets have a snack now, we'll get friendly later.  You got a cat?"ALF
“Lets have a snack now, we’ll get friendly later. You got a cat?”ALF